The Not-It Syndrome!

Some people are grateful for being blessed with fingers.  Consequently, they rush in pointing them at others!

It's a process that we started early in our lives.  When we were asked, in a silly voice, "where's mommy?", we just pointed at her.  Then few years later, when we broke something or caused a mess, then were asked in an angry voice "who did this?", we nervously pointed fingers to the nearest sibling, or whomever our eyes laid on.

By time, we grow and we change, and the finger-pointing habit changes as well.  Instead of blaming someone else for something we did, we simply stop noticing our mistakes, and all the blame magically shifts to the second or third person.  When it comes to deen, it's no different!

The concept is still there and the underlying essence is the same.  It's easier to notice what others do, but really hard- almost impossible- to see what we ourselves are doing. 

Take for instance a girl with high fashion desires; she wears designers purses and sunglasses.  It's true that her latest pair of glasses was worth what could have fed 10 families in Malawi for 6 months.  But she's got pretty good excuse for herself.  She's convinced that the design is comfortable, that the top notch technology used in the lens protects her eyes from dangerous UV rays which other generic brands can't beat, that she can afford it and the list goes on and on. She's being judged by her brother, who accuses her of spending foolishly and always reminds her that lousy spenders are compared to shaytan. 

Little does he realize that he's not the one to talk.  Maybe he doesn't have the taste for designer's brands, but he sure does have an addiction for new gadgets.  He's pretty diplomatic in justifying the $500 worth MP3 player along with the wide array of different laptop platforms he owns.

Or the husband who's so uptight about his wife showing an inch of skin to non-mahrams, yet he has been in the habit of missing fajr prayer for a little over a year now! 

And the crème de la crème; the guy who's looking to get married but actively excludes all girls who might have had any encounter with guys, even if it was a potential for marriage and simply didn't work out.  Not realizing that he's got plenty of those himself.

Some people are just way too hard on others, and when they fail to always be good, understanding, compromising, forgiving, accommodating and caring, they simply put the blame on an nonnegotiable fact: "Sorry, I'm not perfect!"

Our Ummah could use a little bit of rationality.  Yes, it's great to have compassionate individuals who care about each other and give advices for the sake of Allah... but let's just not point out the speck in others' eyes despite the blinding log in ours.

Can I get a refund?

I recently went to an Islamic Conference, like all conferences they had a bazaar. It was a very small bazaar, one vendor for books, one vendor for hijabs/clothes, one for jewelry and the last one was a new one that I have never seen before, it was 2 brothers representing an organization by the name of Global Deaf Muslims. They had pamphlets containing information about their organization. They were also selling shirts, it had the word 'Salaam' on it as well as the notion of saying Salaam in sign language. The shirt was $15 for long sleeves and $10 for half sleeves, which is typically how much shirts cost at these sorts of events. I decided to go ahead and purchase a shirt from them, the way I was communicating with them was through writing notes. As I was writing, I noticed and couldn't help but read what the previous note said. The previous person wrote, "Brother, can I get a refund for the shirt?". Reading that absolutely broke my heart, how heartless and insensitive can our people be? Even if you didn't like the shirt or changed your mind later on, was it absolutely necessary to return it? Don't people know that the $10-$15 they spent went to a good cause? This isn't just your every day vendor, this is an organization that puts money towards our brothers and sisters who have a disability. Helping them by educating Imams and creating events and lectures that help these individuals increase their iman and further educating them on how to be faithful to Allah swt.

This incident got me thinking about our "Muslim" countries. In Pakistan, there is a center that houses down syndrome children/adults. Parents choose to just leave their children at these centers and SOME will visit their children, while others don't even turn back around. Doctors have even claimed that many parents from America/Canada come and leave their children in this center. I understand a child with down syndrome requires a lot of work and time, however it is YOUR child that Allah swt has given to you.

Similarly, I knew of a boy who could not speak or hear. He used to live in a Muslim country and was treated horribly. He would not be able to leave his home, he had no life nor any sort of program he could engage himself in. Why is it that in most "Muslim" countries, people with a handicap or medical condition are in solitude and shut away from the world? Yet, in the U.S.A they have programs, treatments, support groups, and most importantly a life they can enjoy and live. Most university campuses have centers for disabled in which they can go hang out, have games/activities and basically live a normal life like everyone else.

It made me think back to Yasir Qadhi's lecture on 'Social Work', and the lack of Muslim involvement. Why is it we're on top of our Masjid fundraising or sending money back "home" and yet when it comes to helping the needy here we turn our backs? Money is not the only way to give charity but rather your time and participation are essential as well. Why aren't we at soup kitchens passing out food to the less fortunate? Why don't our masjids host food or clothing drives for organizations or people here in the U.S? Why can't we support groups such as Global Deaf Muslims? Aren't all of these important? Aren't all these things an obligation on us as Muslims?

Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings upon Him) once said “The Muslim Ummah is like one body. If the eye is in pain then the whole body is in pain and if the head is in pain then the whole body is in pain”, the issue is that we don't feel the pain of the whole body. Our responsibilities are all over the place, some are right (such as fundraising at a Masjid which is VERY important) but most of our responsibilities end up neglected.

If we choose to neglect the handicaps or less fortunate individuals of our Ummah, then we risk losing them. I know of a girl who has a disability but she hates going to Muslim events because she feels out casted. She likes to go to school and feels much more comfortable at non Muslim gatherings. She is losing interest in Islam, due to her interactions with Muslims. Sadly, she is not seeing true Muslims, she is witnessing sheer insensitivity that strongly goes against our beautiful deen.

Sadly, in our Ummah spending $15 on a hijab or $60 on an abayah is much more significant then donating $15 to an organization that will benefit many Muslims.